he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
