I think I am morally bankrupt
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
