my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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