I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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