oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
