There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
