Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
