is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
