And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
