Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
