meet me or not, i'm out of control
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
