This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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