i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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