her vagina looked like bernie madoff
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
