My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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