Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
