Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
wanna go halves on a baby?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
