i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
