At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
someone owes me an orgasm
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This is my gift to your gina
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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