I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
