We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize