you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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