i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
