Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize