if you like me you must not know who I am
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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