I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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