You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
