i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
