you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
