Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
