So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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