hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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