I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have demons in me.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's not a walk of shame if you run
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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