he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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