I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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