I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
