NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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