So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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