I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
