butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
