does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
whose parrot is this?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
