Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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