Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize
