they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
