allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
