If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
When are your genitals available?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
