Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
