I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
