but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
