dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
