She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
