Say something about gay babies.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
