woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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