i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
