Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
