but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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