Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
