found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
